Nhat V. San Francisco 49ers' Frank Gore 21 stretches during the first day of training camp at the 49ers training facility in Santa Clara, Calif. The next day, after his first practice of training camp, Gore adamantly staked his claim for Nor is he giving up the copyright to run behind an elite offensive line. Coaches have to pull him out of drills. Eight years after Gore arrived as a third-round gamble with surgically repaired knees, his passion for football burns like an eternal flame inside his 5-foot-9 cauldron. But Gore knows how year-old tailbacks are viewed, and he just hit that so-called age barrier May It has nothing to do with skills.
Outside of conditioning in the 49ers offseason program — an undisclosed injury kept him out of team drills — Gore also worked out in his native South Florida with personal trainers, including Pete Bommarito and Terek Maddox. It was his final carry of the season. The only man between him and a Super Bowl-winning, legacy-defining touchdown was linebacker Dannell Ellerbe, who ran Gore out of bounds. Gore 19 carries, yards, one touchdown initially thought he could have cut back to score. Four plays — and three incompletions — later, the 49ers got no closer than the 5-yard line.
There are some plays on the goal line, like the last play. Maybe you should eat some makeup so you can be pretty on the inside too.
Table of Contents
Love is blind; friendship tries not to notice. Otto von Bismarck Click to tweet. Franz Kafka. All the time. Wendy Mass. Some people are like clouds. Friends are people who know you really well and like you anyway. Greg Tamblyn Click to tweet. Henny Youngman. It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them. Ralph Waldo Emerson. I spent hours of my life for a paper and a handshake. A child educated only at school is an uneducated child. George Santayana. Education is what remains after one has forgotten what one has learned in school.
Albert Einstein. Tom Bodett. Finish last in your league and they call you idiot. Finish last in medical school and they call you doctor. Abe Lemons. Gene Perret. No wonder the teacher knows so much; she has the book. Edgar Watson Howe Click to tweet. Bill Vaughan. The human brain is special. Milton Berle. Dave Kellett.
Haruki Murakami. I go to school, but I never learn what I want to know. Bill Watterson. My career plans were much more exciting when I was 5. A boss on vacation is the most cost effective measure. Everybody in the office has a vacation at the cost of one. Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit. George Carlin Click to tweet. The most ineffective workers are systematically moved to the place where they can do the least damage: management.
Scott Adams Dilbert. The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one. Oscar Wilde. Polish Proverb. The closest a person ever comes to perfection is when he fills out a job application form. Stanley Randall. Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city. George Burns Click to tweet.
Good night. Rebecca Romijn. Lane Olinghouse. Everyone should have kids. They are the greatest joy in the world. But they are also terrorists. Ray Romano. Jim Gaffigan. Carrie Underwood. Nora Ephron. Obviously, if I was serious about having a relationship with someone long-term, the last people I would introduce him to would be my family.
Chelsea Handler. Toddler: Emotionally unstable pint-sized dictator with the uncanny ability to know exactly how far to push you towards utter insanity before reverting to a loveable creature. A man in love is incomplete until he is married. Zsa Zsa Gabor Click to tweet. My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bees and he told me about the butcher and my wife. Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not.
So each is inevitably disappointed. I love being married. Rita Rudner. My wife gets all the money I make. I just get an apple and clean clothes every morning. Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience. Men marry because they are tired; women because they are curious; both are disappointed. Mike Vanatta. Mitch Hedberg. Scientists now believe that the primary biological function of breasts is to make men stupid.
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Dave Barry. Feminine intuition is a fiction and a fraud. It is nonsensical, illogical, emotional, ridiculous, and practically foolproof. Harry Haenigsen. The problem with life is, by the time you can read women like a book, your library card has expired. Milton Berle Click to tweet. There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz SL convertible. Men are like a deck of cards. Laura Swenson Click to tweet. The true man wants two things: danger and play. For that reason he wants woman, as the most dangerous plaything.
Friedrich Nietzsche. You grow up the day you have your first real laugh at yourself. Ethel Barrymore. The secret source of humour itself is not joy, but sorrow. There is no humour in heaven. Laughter rises out of tragedy, when you need it the most, and rewards you for your courage. Erma Bombeck. And we should consider every day lost on which we have not danced at least once. And we should call every truth false which was not accompanied by at least one laugh. Angels can fly because they take themselves lightly; devils fall because of their gravity.
My way of joking is to tell the truth. Good humor is a tonic for mind and body. It is the best antidote for anxiety and depression. It is a business asset. It attracts and keep friends. It lightens human burdens. It is the direct route to serenity and contentment. Greenville Kleisser. Jokes of the proper kind, properly told, can do more to enlighten questions of politics, philosophy, and literature than any number of dull arguments.
Isaac Asimov. Humor is a serious thing. I like to think of it as one of our greatest earliest natural resources, which must be preserved at all cost. James Thurber. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. Nothing prepared me for being this awesome.
People are like music. Some speak the truth, and others are just noise. And you feel something that makes you almost want to smile. I live a little bit on the seat of my pants, I try to be alert and available for life to happen to me. The more relaxed you are, the better you are at everything Click to tweet : the better you are with your loved ones, the better you are with your enemies, the better you are at your job, the better you are with yourself. A moat can be a pretty good thing. It can be lovely. It keeps rodents away from the castle. It can have fish in it.
Even fish that talk. My phone would ring 75 times in a row. There are only three things women need in life: food, water and compliments. Chris Rock. Life is long. Only dumb people try to impress smart people. Smart people just do what they do. Chris Rock Click to tweet. They say love is more important than money…Have you tried paying your bills with a hug?
Dave Chappelle. Eddie Murphy. I go to the supermarkets to watch mothers lose it and beat the shit out of their kids. If you have a flop movie, so what? Ellen DeGeneres. Follow your passion. Stay true to yourself. By all means, you should follow that. If you doubt me, ask a butterfly. Their average life span is a mere five to fourteen days.
You know what I need? I need to tortilla chip that can support the weight of guacamole.
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My point is, life is about balance. The good and the bad. The highs and the lows. The pina and the colada. The thing everyone should realize is that the key to happiness is being happy by yourself and for yourself. Be open to learning new lessons, even if they contradict the lessons you learned yesterday.
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Find out who you are and be that person. Find that truth, live that truth and everything else will come. I work really hard at trying to see the big picture and not getting stuck in ego.
I think we need more love in the world. We need more kindness, more compassion, more joy, more laughter. I definitely want to contribute to that. I wanted to make people happy. I think beauty comes from actually knowing who you are. It is failure that gives you the proper perspective on success. Weather forecast for tonight: dark. Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that. Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. Try explaining Hitler to a kid. Teach them to question what they read, teach them to question everything. Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.
Laugh often , long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath. I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member. Groucho Marx. I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book. From the moment I picked up your book until I put it down, I was convulsed with laughter.
Some day I intend reading it. The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. Groucho Marx Click to tweet. Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself. Jerry Seinfeld. What is a date, really, but a job interview that lasts all night? Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom.
Frank Gore Embarks on Record Season | Pro Football Hall of Fame Official Site
Behing every great man is a woman rolling her eyes. Jim Carrey. My focus is to forget the pain of life. Forget the pain, mock the pain, reduce it. And laugh. I can tell you that the effect you have on others is the most valuable currency there is. It is better to risk starving to death then surrender. My soul is not contained within the limits of my body.
My body is contained within the limitlessness of my soul. Life opens up opportunities to you, and you either take them or you stay afraid of taking them. Jim Carrey Click to tweet. Desperation is a necessary ingredient to learning anything , or creating anything.
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Jimmy Fallon. New Scientist magazine reported that in the future, cars could be powered by hazelnuts. I want to be a dad. I wanted to be a Priest at one point. I was pretty religious. I was an altar boy, and I was good at it. Honestly, I just want to keep people awake. Or at least give you one joke to go to bed with. Thank you , Apple, for adding a camera to the iPod Nano. Thank you, horseradish, for being neither a radish nor a horse. What you are is a liar food.
Jimmy Fallon Click to tweet. Be silly. Jon Stewart. I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land. If America leads a blessed life, then why did God put all of our oil under people who hate us? Love what you do. Get good at it.